You should try!

I was helping Aarushi with her morning milk while she was working on an online counting exercise. The figures were slightly jumbled up and at times she would loose track of which ones she has already counted.
The simple ones were right the first time itself.
I helped to correct her when she went wrong.

After a few such corrections, Aarushi did not want to try again. She said, "पापू, आप करो!".

I insisted that she try herself first. She said, "मुझे नहीं आ रहा|" 

I told her, "बेटा आप try तो करो, अगर गलत हो गया तो पापू ठीक करने में help कर देंगे|"

I had to reassure her more than once before she started trying again. She clearly did not want to fail.

No one does... But, the Father says, "Even if you fail many times, you should still try again. And if something goes wrong, then I will set things right."

"It is worse to not try than to fail while trying."

"Try to set things right yourself, before seeking divine intervention".
And this learning had come at a time when I myself had failed at something just the evening before. It was very important for me to have done well, but somehow, even after the best efforts, things had not worked out...
After this realization, I simply prayed to God that I had given it a shot, and now it was His turn to help out... And that was what He did... Things looked up and I am in gratitude for the help provided by Him at that time.
I have learnt, that I should try. Even if I am not sure of success, I should try nevertheless...

Corn in the cage...

I and Surya were returning from doctor's visit a few days back. As we approached our home we crossed a thela with cages of hens stacked one over another. All were sitting contentedly in these cages.

These birds did not know that they were caged. They have always been. These have been brought up in an industrial poultry farm where all that they have to do daily is eat to survive and grow. They don't learn what flying is. They don't see the greens as their home. Their home is a cage and they are happy with it.

It is the same for us. We don't sense the beauty surrounding us since we are busy in our little lives - fighting for survival... We are afraid to venture out because we don't know if we will get worms to eat... And we are contented in the limited existence in our body cages - not realizing the treasures that await us if we try to fly... And when death nears, we feel sorrow for losing the precious caged existence...

There has to be so much more to the world that what we are able to see and experience in our present existence. We have to be ready to explore... To fly... To search for worms and relish on them... We have to be permeated with the confidence that this wonderful universe will never let us go hungry... We just need to search for nectar and we will be blessed....

We may decide to fly out of our cages and relish the wonders of Divinity or we may wish to continue to survive on the corn dished out to us in our cages and remain contended. The choice always remains...

In Gratitude

We had our second baby on 8th Feb - last week. That's right, the date of my last blog..

By the grace of God, and blessings of the well wishers, and intent of the hospital staff and so many other things in the Universe, everything was normal. We reached the hospital at about 10:15am and Arunoday was born through a normal delivery at 12:45pm... It was a wonderful day. It was Basant Panchami that day. Everything was perfect...

Aarushi had been seeking her 'golu' baby and was happy to see her baby brother in it...

I think we were getting all that one could have asked for... The first emotion was of immense gratitude - towards the Divine, to the whole Universe and definitely towards the physical beings involved in the event.

But the Divine is wonderful and has lessons to teach in every happy and sad situation...

In the same days, I came across a text that said that 'satva' is also not desirable. OK... rewind...  I pursued a 6 week program (http://www.do42.com/) some time back. As a part of it, I should read a holy scripture daily. I chose the Bhagvad Gita and in that, the commentary by Sri Paramhansa Yogananda - "God Talks to Arjuna". One of the chapters is "Transcending the Gunas" which talks about every action being related to a result that is either uplifting (satva), activating (rajas), or degrading  (tamas) to the evolution of the human spirit. While common understanding of religion would say that an uplifting action is desired, what I was reading stated that even 'satvik' result producing action is not desired - because it leads to attachment. Attachment to 'goodness' and 'happiness' and it also feeds the ego.

This was not easy to understand. And questions were lingering...

So, the Divine, through Arunoday and my family, gave me an experiential answer.

The Indian society being patriarchal in character, has a preference for boys. My mother and father have instilled in us values of equality and non-differentiation. 'Daughter-in-laws' are equal to daughters. Daughters are equal to sons. All have equal voice and share a veto power in whatever concerns them. I am grateful to the Divine and to my parents to have instilled such noble values in us. Working on these principles, one can only get 'satvik' results. This is where the lesson was in store :-)...

In the first few days the gratitude for a healthy mother and child waned off, Simultaneously, influences of society like, 'mubarak ho ladka hua hai' started pouring in... The desire to be upright and to set the example made me feel if it would have been better if we had a baby daughter. Our family would have even then experienced the same level of bliss, joy and happiness and the congratulatory statements would really have been gender independent - the way it should ideally be... In some little corner in my heart, there was Ingratitude in place of being in gratitude...

Something happened, and this ingratitude, coming out of the desire to do 'the right action', led me to even suggesting to my mother that we do lesser than what we did for Aarushi, lest those who have forgotten the sweets we had shared when Aarushi joined us, believe that the sweets are being distributed because this is a baby boy...

This was possibly the point where the lesson was to come, and I am indebted to my mother and the Divine for bringing it to me in such a lucid manner.

I am again in gratitude.

I now understand that the desire to do good is also finally a 'binding' desire. I understand that 'good actions' can also lead to strengthening the ego. I understand that we should do all actions without any desire for results. Let others color them in whichever way they wish. It is their karma. We should simply act in noble ways and not desire any result, neither appreciation, nor criticism.

"Thank you Divine!" for answering my query in a way no one else could have.

In Gratitude.

Will You be my side?

I was playing with Aarushi... Just letting her fall on the pile of soft blankets... I would lower her to about 30cm above the blankets and then let her fall on them... And through the fall, her feet were on stable footing.... She asked me, "Aap mujhe chot to nahin lagne doge?"...
It was a revelation... So many times the Father is simply playing with the child... He ensures that the child is safe, that no harm can be caused... But the child needs reassurance that it will not get hurt... 
It happens so many times in life that we are in real comfortable situations... We know that even if some ventures fail (we have a little free fall), we will still be safe... We know that the Father is by our side and that we will not get hurt... We know that its fun... We know that we are in His hands... But we still are worried... 
Will the Father ever leave the child? Will the Father not take care of the child if something happens? 
We are already taken care of... We are already counted in... There is no reason to worrry... Lets live life like our Father wants us to live - upright and holistic... 
A Father wants His children to be loving, kind, compassionate, wise, truthful, cheerful, happy, smiling, helping, growing, shining to their best abilities, putting their best into everything and in constant love with Him... He gives the children the best that He can give and desires to see them smiling - always - even when He knows that they are uncomfortable or missing something...
Lets be good children and accept what comes our way and exercise our free will to make best of what He has given us and happily build more out of it... 
There is clearly no room for worry... He is by our side... 

Courage and Opportunities...

It takes courage to dance on the opportunities that come our way...

To take on the opportunities, status-quo needs to be changed... Some streching is required... One has to come out of one's comfort zone...

The courage is needed to have faith in oneself that one would be successful in managing all this, and that a new comfort zone will soon evolve...

Afterall, when one climbs a mountain, one may start to feel breathlessness and dizziness... But soon, one acclimatizes to the new reality and things become normal...

Also, opportunities are the best medium to exercise free will. Faith that the Divine grace will support our decision takes us through... (also read Father and Free Will, Attempt at Free Will, and The Law of Harvest)

It then takes courage to exercise free will. That we will be wholly responsible for the outcomes arising out of our choice and reap the harvest that we sow...

As of now, I am sure that the harvest would be bounty and will fill the hearts of all stakeholders with happiness, joy and love... Amen...

Please set this right!

Little children have a way of examining things... They would try to pry open the parts of a toy OR simply smash it around to see what happens... While some toys are repairable, others are brittle...

Aarushi would simply ask me to set it right... Almost exactly the same way as we ask God to set things right, after we have wronged them...

While some things are repairable immediately by plugging a screw or simply connecting the things right again, the brittle ones require an adhesive and time - and even then the scar is left...

The first category are like the material things in life... Can be managed almost immediately - we call it stroke of luck, or providence, and show immediate gratitude to God for them...

The brittle ones are relationships... Once broken, they need time to recover... God may help put the adhesive, but even He can't speed it up further than the minimum curing time, and the scar will remain... It may not be visible from a distance, but a closer look will reveal it all...

With experience, children tend to identify the brittle ones from the rock-solid, and already handle the brittle ones more carefully... Anger plays a spoil-sport in those stages...

Luckily, the relationship with God is one of divine love. It is not brittle... After all, the Father doesn't hold anything against His children... He is always there to help us mend our ways and our toys...

We just need to remember to ask Him for help... And simultaneously trust that He does the best job, and may be able to do it quicker if we cooperate...

Treasury @ AID Delhi

AID NCR (http://delhi.aidindia.org/) is a 'big' family now. So, big that handling it as one single unit is becoming a challenge.

We have been discussing separating as independent chapters and then managing work independently for quite some time now. As three chapters evolve out of one, the shared responsibilities have to be replicated in each unit.

I have been a dormant member, a 'extreme need basis' volunteer for some time now - about 3 yrs. Priorities change significantly after marraige, and definitely after children. To add to it, I am also pursuing PhD alongside my job. In such times of 'time-crunch', one has to keep one's immediate life circle at a higher priority than those on who one has secondary or tertiary impact.

So, when I was asked to take care of treasury at AID Delhi again, after about 4 years, I was overwhelmed... I want to help, but don't want to plunge into it too soon... I would prefer the PhD course work to reach a level of maturity before entering into such active level of volunteering again...

Same applies to "campaigns"... Its a challenge... I will take it up again in some time...

In the meanwhile, are you interested to volunteer? Write in...

Why are you giving me this?

Aarushi had just woken up. She was hungry. As she entered the living room, she saw dadu eating some namkeen. She jumped at the opportunity and starting eating some of those bhujia.

When I joined her in the room, I tasted the bhujia myself and found them to be very spicy. I asked Aarushi if she found them spicy and if she should stop. She insisted that she was enjoying it and asked me for helpings. I obliged hesistantly.

She then came to me and asked, 'Papu, aap mujhe mirch wali bhujia kyon khila rahe ho?' I said, 'because you asked for it'.

Does God give us our 'mirch wali bhujia', that is, 'not so pleasant experiences' because we ask for them? Isn't this "The Secret"?

He asks us if we really want it, if He thinks that it might not be as good as it looks... But we want to experiment OR at times want something simply because we don't have it OR want it because He asks us to not have it... At times, giving in to His word, is all that is needed to get something palatable on our plate...

Learn, Unlearn, Relearn

It is said that in today's knowledge world, it is those who know how to learn, un-learn, and then re-learn, will succeed most. I believe that this has been true always, but is more obvious now.


Those who accept change with open arms - and are ready to unlearn their old ways of living and re-learn new ways of living - can make the most of the opportunities that come with any wave of change. They can thus be the most successful lot of people.


Even physical objects resist change (Newton's law of intertia). It is only natural that human beings will also resist change. 


Then, those who put in mental and physical energy to mitigate this resistance, may probably enter the changed situation with a higher probability of success.

Dancing to the music of love

Aarushi insisted on meeting dadu when I took her to the park in the morning.

Papa was continuing with his yoga practice while his other colleagues had already left.

She and held papa like a long lost friend and started playing with him.

After some time, papa decided to fold the rug and pack the stuff to go back home. As he picked up the rug, a plain, white plastic sheet that he uses below the cloth rug came to sight.

Aarushi jumped on it and started dancing. Both of us (I and papa) were surprised, elated, filled with joy at her simple act. People around were watching this little baby dancing on the white sheet.

This was the dance she was dancing to the music of love... She was happy at having me by her side in the morning. She was happy at being with papa. She was happy about the presence of love around her. She was dancing to its music. She did not need anything else.

The same day we also went to a party and she was at her danceuse best on the dance floor too.

It did not matter to her what stage she was given. She utilied the opportunity to put her best foot forward and dance no matter what.

She was dancing to her own rythm and did not bother about how others would/ could possibly rate her performance. It was an expression of her passion, her joy.

And this made me think - this is what true sanyaas is all about. To be happy always - in His presence. To be able to put our best forward independent of the conditions offered to us by life. We may be dealt any set of cards, we have to do our best. We may not have the option to add color, but we still have to dance. And we have to dance well even when we have the colors. The colors should not prevent us from feeling the presence.

And that is what God might also love and feel good about - when His children are happy with whatever they are dealt with - and enjoy the gifts, even the most mundane ones. When His children dance to the music of love. More so, love for Him.