The fight of heart and brain

We have a great professor at IIT Delhi. His passion drives him through all ups and downs of life and his simplicity is something to be imbibed in our lives. For the sake of privacy, I will not publish his name, but those who know me and also him will be able to make it out easily.

He is one of the best professors in Electrical Engineering Department there. I think most of the EE students will easily concur with me. At least those who have had even minimal interaction with him will realize that he does not teach for a salary, he teaches because he is passionate about it. Salary is a by-product.

He does not rate you on the basis of the grade that you get in his class, he rates you on how genuine you are and if you put in the right kind of effort. You may get bad grades in his courses, but if you are the genuine kind, he will regard you highly.

When one of our friends was not able to decide on the issue of pursuing higher studies from the US, she decided to seek advice from him. His answer is the reason for this post. His answer has always helped me, and that is why I thought that I can share it with you – it may help you also.

He said, “See… Whenever you face a dilemma in life – with your brain pulling you on one side and your heart on the other – then go with what your heart says… You will be happy…”

I am not sure if you realize the depth in this statement. This had come from a person with years of experience teaching the best brains of India – asking us to neglect the brain when it fights with the heart. Its difficult for engineers to do it.

But it is surely a mantra for happiness. It will bring happiness to you – be it in a personal situation or a professional relationship.

But there is a “big” rider attached to this statement… This will hold true when you are in a “dilemma” – that is, you have been thinking about something for some time. Its not a ‘spur of the moment’ kind of situation that you can apply this statement. It is when you have given your brain and your heart an equal opportunity to analyze/ think about the situation.

So, when you are angry and want to hit someone hard – it is a ‘spur of the moment’ situation and the mantra will not help you… However, if you are thinking of a career change for say 2 months, but unable to decide if you should take the plunge in a new situation and leave the old behind, then this “mantra” holds the key to your happiness…

To me, this ‘mantra’ has always been the key to happiness and satisfaction. I see a reason behind this. We usually face a dilemma of the said type when – logically thinking – we see lesser chances of success by following our heart. However, when we work with passion – and put our heart and soul into an activity – all the obstacles in our path give way to success. Hence, we are happy…

The idea is to have such high passion that the “thoughtrons” – the energy particles of thought (positive, in this case) - completely overcome the negative energy of the obstacles that may exist on the path. And this happens – it happens every time one sets out whole-heartedly to accomplish a task.

And happiness, at all times, is not dependent on success. We need to realize that in the long run, happiness and satisfaction come from the effort that one puts in. It is not the final outcome that determines our satisfaction levels, it is the effort that we put to achieve that success.

If you taste success, you will definitely feel happy – because you got success on your terms – by following your heart. If, however, one is not able to succeed, the satisfaction of having tried ones best (remember, “with all your heart”), will tide over any sorrow of having failed to goal. Also, success might not have been assured if the brain had won the battle... In such a case, one would feel worse off for two reasons - one for failing, and the other for not even trying what one actually wanted to do.

Moreover, life is short and unpredictable. One should rather do things that one loves than those that are dictated by society or reason. If Edison would have followed reason, telephones would not have been reality. If reason persisted at all times, flying would not be possible. It is when one follows ones heart that one innovates and succeeds.

Also, the new lessons learnt on the path of heart stay longer and benefit more, than those learnt on the path of reason. There are more opportunities to grow with your heart than without it.

Think over it...

Communication, Relationships and Magnets

All of us have relationships - with friends, with parents, with siblings, with colleagues, with lots of people around us. This mail is on "how to make your relationships joyful".

Taking this line a bit further, many of us are about to enter or will enter into relationships that have the potential of changing the course of our lives.

Non-engineering audience may feel slightly bored, but I think everyone read about these basics earlier.

Wise old men have at times compared people to magnets. We attract some people and situations, and we repel others. I am just extending upon this. And as usual, I am open to feedback and comments.

Magnetism has an associated concept of "hysterisis". This can be more easily understood as "history" or "memory". Since human beings have "memory", hysterisis can be used to explain some of our real-life situations.


Another basic is that "relationships are built upon the foundations of good communication". That is the reason, when newly engaged couples talk for hours on phone, it makes all the sense - they want to build their relationship by communicating more and more. So, the two axis of the hysterisis loop are "happiness / satisfaction/ joy in a relationship" and "communication".

However, there is an important difference in a normal magnet's hysterisis loop and the loop drawn below.

Now, how to understand this loop. As a normal magnetic material, the relationship starts with communication and increases with more communication.

This keeps on increasing and the relationship keeps on getting deeper and more intimate.

A stage comes when views are exchanged very effectively even without speaking a word. One can continue to grow this communication and increase the joy of one's relationships.

When one stops to communicate more - a natural down-curve is followed. However, in a natural scenario, the relationships falls along the upper (enclosing the lavender area) line.

This curve is very natural. It happens in all relationships. Success of a relationship lies in pulling it up, from wherever it has fallen to. To define new origins. To introduce the relationshiop onto a still another hysterisis growth line - like the central line - separating red and lavender areas. This way, by defining new growth curves, new origins in your relationships, you continue to live happily ever-after.

Now comes the dangerous case, if communication lines are broken unnaturally - as the result of an altercation or argument etc., the relationship falls according to the lower line (enclosing the red region). This is completely avoidable.

Important thing to notice is that if the communication is brought to ZERO through unnatural means, then the relationship is more painful that joyful (intersection on "Joy" parameter when "communication"=ZERO is negative). However, if natural separation with a friend occurs, which brings down your communication, you will still be at a positive level in your relationship.

So, the gyan, NEVER close channels of communication with your partner.

Now the next level of "gyan". What is "negative" axis on communication? Negative axis on communication implies that you are getting information about your partner, through third-person. This is a very DANGEROUS situation again. While for some time, the relationship will not be impacted, this is also red region, since the trend is not good.

Don't depend on a third-person to define your relationship with someone. It will only take your relationship further down. Trust your friend, your partner, your spouse. Open newer and newer channels of communication, but DON'T let the communication axis touch the negative side of the curve.

Now, stopping to weigh you down any further... I will close on this first post.