Gratitude

I and a friend were taking an evening stroll while Aarushi and his daughter were playing near us and he shared a  very interesting way to present the 'attitude of gratitude' concept. I felt like sharing it here.


"Attitude of Gratitude makes all the difference in what we are finally blessed with. Lets look at the example of a child. If we bring a gift for him, a cheap one, and he plays with it joyously and thanks you for thinking about him when he was not in front of you, then the next time you will be pleased to bring a bigger gift. If however, the child simply throws it away and says - this is not worth playing, that he wants something else etc., then you will not bring anything for him the next time, because you don't know if the child wanted it or not...


Similarly, we should thank God for whatever he offers us in life. Else we will only get presents when we go the shopping ourselves - that is do the hard work. There will be no pleasant surprises where we see His considerate nature."


And if I bring it closer to my life, I realize that the same happens when it comes to bringing gifts for friends and family. If the person in front of us doesn't accept what we bring for him or her, we may not bring anything for the same person again - even if it is our best friend. If on the other hand, the person thanks us for what we brought, we will be willing to even ask him / her, the next time we are going somewhere, if he/ she desires something.


The key then is to accept whatever cards have been dealt to us gracefully and with gratitude... It may not be long when He asks you what you wish before presenting you a gift... 


I am reminded of a beautiful SMS that another friend shared with me, "Someone asked God, जब नसीब में पहले ही सब लिख दिया है तो दुआ क्यों करें? (If everything is written as destiny, then why wish?), to which God replied, हो सकता है मैंने नसीब में लिखा हो, (It might be that I have written) "As you wish!""


I realize that this would happen when we have accepted whatever He has given us in our नसीब (luck/ destiny). And this also takes me to The Secret. But that's another post :-)...

I wanna sit in the front...

When Aarushi returned home a few days back, she had a bruise around her eye. It was frightening to imagine that someone had hit her in the eye at school. It was simply not possible for a school like hers... When we asked her about it, she explained that she fell down while running.
On further probing about who was monitoring their running, she revealed that all of them run after their school to the van to sit in the front seat (beside the driver bhaiya). So, when she was running that day, and trying to look back at how others were faring, she twisted her foot and fell.
It was a mountainwings moment for me (check out http://www.mountainwings.com to understand what a mountainwings moment means). 
All of us do it the same way. Sitting in the front seat is no big deal, but children saw it an important achievement. It was nothing to compete about, but a competition somehow set in. From a larger perspective, all of us end up competing about so many things of absolutely no value / consequence in long-term. The interesting coincidence was that they were not fighting for the drivers seat, it is accepted to be someone else's responsibility, almost in the same way as most of us understand that we can't replace Him, the real driver of everything around us.
Whenever we notice ourselves being a part of competition - for promotions, position, responsibility, salary hikes, recognition etc. - let us just step back and see the importance of that front seat in the larger scheme of things.
The children sitting in the back are a group that enjoy through the way back home, the one in front seat sits alone. The one in the front gets a completely different view of the traffic, but that is simply other people also chasing one dream or another. The ones sitting in the back enjoy their time back home by building better relationships along the way. Everyone reaches home (the heavens, if I may call it), sooner or later, independent of where he/she sits in the van. Once home, parents hardly bother about where the child sat. The only concern is if they behaved responsibly wherever they enjoyed themselves. To the parents, children reaching home is the primary delight (and relief). I understand that for God too, our reaching to Him is of importance, than what position we sat at or what salary we earned... However, for him too, a responsible behavior, wherever we are placed, would be a key metric of measuring success.
Let us seriously consider if we can simplify our lives by doing away with the competition introduced by us in the scheme of things. I say, "by us", because competition or cooperation is our choice and our state of mind. We decide to cooperate, and the person who had initiated the competition will also mend his/her ways, sooner or later, or simply drift away - since we don't pose a challenge to compete against anyways :-)...
On a completely different axis, if we do wish to compete, let us not look back at our competition, lest we hurt ourselves.

You should try!

I was helping Aarushi with her morning milk while she was working on an online counting exercise. The figures were slightly jumbled up and at times she would loose track of which ones she has already counted.
The simple ones were right the first time itself.
I helped to correct her when she went wrong.

After a few such corrections, Aarushi did not want to try again. She said, "पापू, आप करो!".

I insisted that she try herself first. She said, "मुझे नहीं आ रहा|" 

I told her, "बेटा आप try तो करो, अगर गलत हो गया तो पापू ठीक करने में help कर देंगे|"

I had to reassure her more than once before she started trying again. She clearly did not want to fail.

No one does... But, the Father says, "Even if you fail many times, you should still try again. And if something goes wrong, then I will set things right."

"It is worse to not try than to fail while trying."

"Try to set things right yourself, before seeking divine intervention".
And this learning had come at a time when I myself had failed at something just the evening before. It was very important for me to have done well, but somehow, even after the best efforts, things had not worked out...
After this realization, I simply prayed to God that I had given it a shot, and now it was His turn to help out... And that was what He did... Things looked up and I am in gratitude for the help provided by Him at that time.
I have learnt, that I should try. Even if I am not sure of success, I should try nevertheless...

Corn in the cage...

I and Surya were returning from doctor's visit a few days back. As we approached our home we crossed a thela with cages of hens stacked one over another. All were sitting contentedly in these cages.

These birds did not know that they were caged. They have always been. These have been brought up in an industrial poultry farm where all that they have to do daily is eat to survive and grow. They don't learn what flying is. They don't see the greens as their home. Their home is a cage and they are happy with it.

It is the same for us. We don't sense the beauty surrounding us since we are busy in our little lives - fighting for survival... We are afraid to venture out because we don't know if we will get worms to eat... And we are contented in the limited existence in our body cages - not realizing the treasures that await us if we try to fly... And when death nears, we feel sorrow for losing the precious caged existence...

There has to be so much more to the world that what we are able to see and experience in our present existence. We have to be ready to explore... To fly... To search for worms and relish on them... We have to be permeated with the confidence that this wonderful universe will never let us go hungry... We just need to search for nectar and we will be blessed....

We may decide to fly out of our cages and relish the wonders of Divinity or we may wish to continue to survive on the corn dished out to us in our cages and remain contended. The choice always remains...

In Gratitude

We had our second baby on 8th Feb - last week. That's right, the date of my last blog..

By the grace of God, and blessings of the well wishers, and intent of the hospital staff and so many other things in the Universe, everything was normal. We reached the hospital at about 10:15am and Arunoday was born through a normal delivery at 12:45pm... It was a wonderful day. It was Basant Panchami that day. Everything was perfect...

Aarushi had been seeking her 'golu' baby and was happy to see her baby brother in it...

I think we were getting all that one could have asked for... The first emotion was of immense gratitude - towards the Divine, to the whole Universe and definitely towards the physical beings involved in the event.

But the Divine is wonderful and has lessons to teach in every happy and sad situation...

In the same days, I came across a text that said that 'satva' is also not desirable. OK... rewind...  I pursued a 6 week program (http://www.do42.com/) some time back. As a part of it, I should read a holy scripture daily. I chose the Bhagvad Gita and in that, the commentary by Sri Paramhansa Yogananda - "God Talks to Arjuna". One of the chapters is "Transcending the Gunas" which talks about every action being related to a result that is either uplifting (satva), activating (rajas), or degrading  (tamas) to the evolution of the human spirit. While common understanding of religion would say that an uplifting action is desired, what I was reading stated that even 'satvik' result producing action is not desired - because it leads to attachment. Attachment to 'goodness' and 'happiness' and it also feeds the ego.

This was not easy to understand. And questions were lingering...

So, the Divine, through Arunoday and my family, gave me an experiential answer.

The Indian society being patriarchal in character, has a preference for boys. My mother and father have instilled in us values of equality and non-differentiation. 'Daughter-in-laws' are equal to daughters. Daughters are equal to sons. All have equal voice and share a veto power in whatever concerns them. I am grateful to the Divine and to my parents to have instilled such noble values in us. Working on these principles, one can only get 'satvik' results. This is where the lesson was in store :-)...

In the first few days the gratitude for a healthy mother and child waned off, Simultaneously, influences of society like, 'mubarak ho ladka hua hai' started pouring in... The desire to be upright and to set the example made me feel if it would have been better if we had a baby daughter. Our family would have even then experienced the same level of bliss, joy and happiness and the congratulatory statements would really have been gender independent - the way it should ideally be... In some little corner in my heart, there was Ingratitude in place of being in gratitude...

Something happened, and this ingratitude, coming out of the desire to do 'the right action', led me to even suggesting to my mother that we do lesser than what we did for Aarushi, lest those who have forgotten the sweets we had shared when Aarushi joined us, believe that the sweets are being distributed because this is a baby boy...

This was possibly the point where the lesson was to come, and I am indebted to my mother and the Divine for bringing it to me in such a lucid manner.

I am again in gratitude.

I now understand that the desire to do good is also finally a 'binding' desire. I understand that 'good actions' can also lead to strengthening the ego. I understand that we should do all actions without any desire for results. Let others color them in whichever way they wish. It is their karma. We should simply act in noble ways and not desire any result, neither appreciation, nor criticism.

"Thank you Divine!" for answering my query in a way no one else could have.

In Gratitude.

Will You be my side?

I was playing with Aarushi... Just letting her fall on the pile of soft blankets... I would lower her to about 30cm above the blankets and then let her fall on them... And through the fall, her feet were on stable footing.... She asked me, "Aap mujhe chot to nahin lagne doge?"...
It was a revelation... So many times the Father is simply playing with the child... He ensures that the child is safe, that no harm can be caused... But the child needs reassurance that it will not get hurt... 
It happens so many times in life that we are in real comfortable situations... We know that even if some ventures fail (we have a little free fall), we will still be safe... We know that the Father is by our side and that we will not get hurt... We know that its fun... We know that we are in His hands... But we still are worried... 
Will the Father ever leave the child? Will the Father not take care of the child if something happens? 
We are already taken care of... We are already counted in... There is no reason to worrry... Lets live life like our Father wants us to live - upright and holistic... 
A Father wants His children to be loving, kind, compassionate, wise, truthful, cheerful, happy, smiling, helping, growing, shining to their best abilities, putting their best into everything and in constant love with Him... He gives the children the best that He can give and desires to see them smiling - always - even when He knows that they are uncomfortable or missing something...
Lets be good children and accept what comes our way and exercise our free will to make best of what He has given us and happily build more out of it... 
There is clearly no room for worry... He is by our side... 

Courage and Opportunities...

It takes courage to dance on the opportunities that come our way...

To take on the opportunities, status-quo needs to be changed... Some streching is required... One has to come out of one's comfort zone...

The courage is needed to have faith in oneself that one would be successful in managing all this, and that a new comfort zone will soon evolve...

Afterall, when one climbs a mountain, one may start to feel breathlessness and dizziness... But soon, one acclimatizes to the new reality and things become normal...

Also, opportunities are the best medium to exercise free will. Faith that the Divine grace will support our decision takes us through... (also read Father and Free Will, Attempt at Free Will, and The Law of Harvest)

It then takes courage to exercise free will. That we will be wholly responsible for the outcomes arising out of our choice and reap the harvest that we sow...

As of now, I am sure that the harvest would be bounty and will fill the hearts of all stakeholders with happiness, joy and love... Amen...

Please set this right!

Little children have a way of examining things... They would try to pry open the parts of a toy OR simply smash it around to see what happens... While some toys are repairable, others are brittle...

Aarushi would simply ask me to set it right... Almost exactly the same way as we ask God to set things right, after we have wronged them...

While some things are repairable immediately by plugging a screw or simply connecting the things right again, the brittle ones require an adhesive and time - and even then the scar is left...

The first category are like the material things in life... Can be managed almost immediately - we call it stroke of luck, or providence, and show immediate gratitude to God for them...

The brittle ones are relationships... Once broken, they need time to recover... God may help put the adhesive, but even He can't speed it up further than the minimum curing time, and the scar will remain... It may not be visible from a distance, but a closer look will reveal it all...

With experience, children tend to identify the brittle ones from the rock-solid, and already handle the brittle ones more carefully... Anger plays a spoil-sport in those stages...

Luckily, the relationship with God is one of divine love. It is not brittle... After all, the Father doesn't hold anything against His children... He is always there to help us mend our ways and our toys...

We just need to remember to ask Him for help... And simultaneously trust that He does the best job, and may be able to do it quicker if we cooperate...

Treasury @ AID Delhi

AID NCR (http://delhi.aidindia.org/) is a 'big' family now. So, big that handling it as one single unit is becoming a challenge.

We have been discussing separating as independent chapters and then managing work independently for quite some time now. As three chapters evolve out of one, the shared responsibilities have to be replicated in each unit.

I have been a dormant member, a 'extreme need basis' volunteer for some time now - about 3 yrs. Priorities change significantly after marraige, and definitely after children. To add to it, I am also pursuing PhD alongside my job. In such times of 'time-crunch', one has to keep one's immediate life circle at a higher priority than those on who one has secondary or tertiary impact.

So, when I was asked to take care of treasury at AID Delhi again, after about 4 years, I was overwhelmed... I want to help, but don't want to plunge into it too soon... I would prefer the PhD course work to reach a level of maturity before entering into such active level of volunteering again...

Same applies to "campaigns"... Its a challenge... I will take it up again in some time...

In the meanwhile, are you interested to volunteer? Write in...

Why are you giving me this?

Aarushi had just woken up. She was hungry. As she entered the living room, she saw dadu eating some namkeen. She jumped at the opportunity and starting eating some of those bhujia.

When I joined her in the room, I tasted the bhujia myself and found them to be very spicy. I asked Aarushi if she found them spicy and if she should stop. She insisted that she was enjoying it and asked me for helpings. I obliged hesistantly.

She then came to me and asked, 'Papu, aap mujhe mirch wali bhujia kyon khila rahe ho?' I said, 'because you asked for it'.

Does God give us our 'mirch wali bhujia', that is, 'not so pleasant experiences' because we ask for them? Isn't this "The Secret"?

He asks us if we really want it, if He thinks that it might not be as good as it looks... But we want to experiment OR at times want something simply because we don't have it OR want it because He asks us to not have it... At times, giving in to His word, is all that is needed to get something palatable on our plate...