Thursday, February 17, 2011

In Gratitude

We had our second baby on 8th Feb - last week. That's right, the date of my last blog..

By the grace of God, and blessings of the well wishers, and intent of the hospital staff and so many other things in the Universe, everything was normal. We reached the hospital at about 10:15am and Arunoday was born through a normal delivery at 12:45pm... It was a wonderful day. It was Basant Panchami that day. Everything was perfect...

Aarushi had been seeking her 'golu' baby and was happy to see her baby brother in it...

I think we were getting all that one could have asked for... The first emotion was of immense gratitude - towards the Divine, to the whole Universe and definitely towards the physical beings involved in the event.

But the Divine is wonderful and has lessons to teach in every happy and sad situation...

In the same days, I came across a text that said that 'satva' is also not desirable. OK... rewind...  I pursued a 6 week program (http://www.do42.com/) some time back. As a part of it, I should read a holy scripture daily. I chose the Bhagvad Gita and in that, the commentary by Sri Paramhansa Yogananda - "God Talks to Arjuna". One of the chapters is "Transcending the Gunas" which talks about every action being related to a result that is either uplifting (satva), activating (rajas), or degrading  (tamas) to the evolution of the human spirit. While common understanding of religion would say that an uplifting action is desired, what I was reading stated that even 'satvik' result producing action is not desired - because it leads to attachment. Attachment to 'goodness' and 'happiness' and it also feeds the ego.

This was not easy to understand. And questions were lingering...

So, the Divine, through Arunoday and my family, gave me an experiential answer.

The Indian society being patriarchal in character, has a preference for boys. My mother and father have instilled in us values of equality and non-differentiation. 'Daughter-in-laws' are equal to daughters. Daughters are equal to sons. All have equal voice and share a veto power in whatever concerns them. I am grateful to the Divine and to my parents to have instilled such noble values in us. Working on these principles, one can only get 'satvik' results. This is where the lesson was in store :-)...

In the first few days the gratitude for a healthy mother and child waned off, Simultaneously, influences of society like, 'mubarak ho ladka hua hai' started pouring in... The desire to be upright and to set the example made me feel if it would have been better if we had a baby daughter. Our family would have even then experienced the same level of bliss, joy and happiness and the congratulatory statements would really have been gender independent - the way it should ideally be... In some little corner in my heart, there was Ingratitude in place of being in gratitude...

Something happened, and this ingratitude, coming out of the desire to do 'the right action', led me to even suggesting to my mother that we do lesser than what we did for Aarushi, lest those who have forgotten the sweets we had shared when Aarushi joined us, believe that the sweets are being distributed because this is a baby boy...

This was possibly the point where the lesson was to come, and I am indebted to my mother and the Divine for bringing it to me in such a lucid manner.

I am again in gratitude.

I now understand that the desire to do good is also finally a 'binding' desire. I understand that 'good actions' can also lead to strengthening the ego. I understand that we should do all actions without any desire for results. Let others color them in whichever way they wish. It is their karma. We should simply act in noble ways and not desire any result, neither appreciation, nor criticism.

"Thank you Divine!" for answering my query in a way no one else could have.

In Gratitude.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Will You be my side?

I was playing with Aarushi... Just letting her fall on the pile of soft blankets... I would lower her to about 30cm above the blankets and then let her fall on them... And through the fall, her feet were on stable footing.... She asked me, "Aap mujhe chot to nahin lagne doge?"...
It was a revelation... So many times the Father is simply playing with the child... He ensures that the child is safe, that no harm can be caused... But the child needs reassurance that it will not get hurt... 
It happens so many times in life that we are in real comfortable situations... We know that even if some ventures fail (we have a little free fall), we will still be safe... We know that the Father is by our side and that we will not get hurt... We know that its fun... We know that we are in His hands... But we still are worried... 
Will the Father ever leave the child? Will the Father not take care of the child if something happens? 
We are already taken care of... We are already counted in... There is no reason to worrry... Lets live life like our Father wants us to live - upright and holistic... 
A Father wants His children to be loving, kind, compassionate, wise, truthful, cheerful, happy, smiling, helping, growing, shining to their best abilities, putting their best into everything and in constant love with Him... He gives the children the best that He can give and desires to see them smiling - always - even when He knows that they are uncomfortable or missing something...
Lets be good children and accept what comes our way and exercise our free will to make best of what He has given us and happily build more out of it... 
There is clearly no room for worry... He is by our side...