All of us have relationships - with friends, with parents, with siblings, with colleagues, with lots of people around us. This mail is on "how to make your relationships joyful".
Taking this line a bit further, many of us are about to enter or will enter into relationships that have the potential of changing the course of our lives.
Non-engineering audience may feel slightly bored, but I think everyone read about these basics earlier.
Wise old men have at times compared people to magnets. We attract some people and situations, and we repel others. I am just extending upon this. And as usual, I am open to feedback and comments.
Magnetism has an associated concept of "hysterisis". This can be more easily understood as "history" or "memory". Since human beings have "memory", hysterisis can be used to explain some of our real-life situations.
Another basic is that "relationships are built upon the foundations of good communication". That is the reason, when newly engaged couples talk for hours on phone, it makes all the sense - they want to build their relationship by communicating more and more. So, the two axis of the hysterisis loop are "happiness / satisfaction/ joy in a relationship" and "communication".
However, there is an important difference in a normal magnet's hysterisis loop and the loop drawn below.
Now, how to understand this loop. As a normal magnetic material, the relationship starts with communication and increases with more communication.
This keeps on increasing and the relationship keeps on getting deeper and more intimate.
A stage comes when views are exchanged very effectively even without speaking a word. One can continue to grow this communication and increase the joy of one's relationships.
When one stops to communicate more - a natural down-curve is followed. However, in a natural scenario, the relationships falls along the upper (enclosing the lavender area) line.
This curve is very natural. It happens in all relationships. Success of a relationship lies in pulling it up, from wherever it has fallen to. To define new origins. To introduce the relationshiop onto a still another hysterisis growth line - like the central line - separating red and lavender areas. This way, by defining new growth curves, new origins in your relationships, you continue to live happily ever-after.
Now comes the dangerous case, if communication lines are broken unnaturally - as the result of an altercation or argument etc., the relationship falls according to the lower line (enclosing the red region). This is completely avoidable.
Important thing to notice is that if the communication is brought to ZERO through unnatural means, then the relationship is more painful that joyful (intersection on "Joy" parameter when "communication"=ZERO is negative). However, if natural separation with a friend occurs, which brings down your communication, you will still be at a positive level in your relationship.
So, the gyan, NEVER close channels of communication with your partner.
Now the next level of "gyan". What is "negative" axis on communication? Negative axis on communication implies that you are getting information about your partner, through third-person. This is a very DANGEROUS situation again. While for some time, the relationship will not be impacted, this is also red region, since the trend is not good.
Don't depend on a third-person to define your relationship with someone. It will only take your relationship further down. Trust your friend, your partner, your spouse. Open newer and newer channels of communication, but DON'T let the communication axis touch the negative side of the curve.
Now, stopping to weigh you down any further... I will close on this first post.
